Thursday, December 17, 2009

Eclipse Preview...

Is it too early to anticipate Eclipse?

Lineup: Directed by David Slade; starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

The Pitch: Brooding, Brooding, heartbreaking 2-minute encounter, more brooding. After hearing about Stewart's chain-smoking habit we think she should light up in the movie. What better brooding accessory?

Outlook: Millions of tweenage twihards embark will stampede. Guys ponder how to possibly exploit fantasizing girls for their own ends. Mothers will act like it’s a chore to attend this with their daughter, but hoot and holler when greasy topless boy-wolfs make an appearance. Men and the literary-minded will avoid.

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